I feel delighted to know that duniasantri.co is entering its 3rd anniversary in 2022. As a santri who has asked for guidance, I am so grateful. Because many things have been given by duniasantri.co that saved me at the right time (by Allah’s permission and help).
I’ve been writing poetry more since I graduated college, and I’m less trained to write short stories and opinions. Even though there were such assignments in college, the desire to be skilled at writing was lacking, plus there was very little information and knowledge.
My urge to write is actually more of an “only (writing)” job that I can do. I feel like I don’t really feel like working other than writing. I have experienced this since I became an Indonesian teacher at one of the junior high schools in my village. Of course, teaching science is a noble activity. However, I feel inappropriate as a teacher, and my college base is not from education.
Slowly, my anxiety deepened. I seem to have lost hope of what and how to do it. I try to prove myself by continuing to write and send it to the mass media, both newspapers and online websites. At first, all this was fruitless. I waited while continuing to hone my skills, reading books, saving to buy books, and thinking about every moment in language. Everything really feels long and quite tormenting me.
On the other hand, I feel less and less comfortable teaching. Not because of the children. Of course, I’m glad I got to meet them, which reminds me of my teenage years. However, the displeasure arises from the uniform school environment, plus textbooks which, in my opinion, are not good in content (Indeed, this has been the case for a long time. The quality of textbooks in schools is always poor in terms of paper and content. This can be checked in old essays like the one by Mahbub Djunaidi et al.). We all know that books are projects and have entered into many dimensions of our lives. And what is critical is precisely in our education world.