“My son has bought it almost more than five times. This fish cannot survive. Look at that, its gills are already red. It means it lacks oxygen. I know this because I was told by my son’s private tutor who happens to be a hobbyist in ornamental fish,” this young mother continued to speak while gossiping, without paying attention to how Ale felt.
Ale looked distressed. After my wife’s friend left. Ale didn’t move from beside his ornamental fish. Ale still couldn’t read and write. Although, he could recite a little Quran and memorize some short chapters.
I approached him lost in thought. I stroked his fine hair, which was due for a trim to look neat. Suddenly, he asked, “Daddy, what is oxygen? The one in the air, right? The one you told me about when I was doing sports riding a bike? You said if you can’t breathe with oxygen, you can die?” Ale asked incessantly, as if pouring out his distress.
“Yes, that’s right,” I immediately responded with a very convincing expression, prompting him to continue talking about his concerns.
“These fish live in water, they don’t need air. Fish cannot be like Ale who freely breathes air. Ale also cannot be like fish that continuously swim in water. But why should we die in the same way? Just because there’s no oxygen,” Ale spoke tremblingly, perhaps holding back tears that would soon spill.
Ale’s thought process made me unable to hold back my emotions. Ale had never learned science subjects. Even more surprising was that such a small child remembered everything I said, then easily understood and combined it with other words. Just because of a statement, his life that day felt shattered. His sadness peaked because of the fear of losing something.
Ale, my son, we have to get used to every encounter and parting. Your kindness to everything will not prevent fate from every loss. No religion, ethnicity, culture, or background can save you from a feeling of loss.
Ale was still crying, perhaps my embrace was not enough to stop his tears. His whimpering suddenly subsided and his eyes sank. Today you are destined to be sad, it’s okay. Indeed, Ale had to know the feeling of sadness and the fear of loss.